Rollercoaster Rides

This past week has been a total rollercoaster ride.

And not a fun, exciting, thrilling ride.

Last Monday I went to see Dr. B., the Pain Management Specialist who had done my MBB's & RFL.  He has been discussing the option of an ONS with me for quite sometime.  I have been holding off on that option as a last, last, last resort because it scares the hell out of me.  His advice last week was to either go forward with a trial stimulator, or make the appointment to go to the Michigan Head Pain & Neurological Institute, as nothing we are trying here is effective.

That being said, he prescribed me some heavy duty medication to try in the meantime.  So heavy duty...I am embarassed and ashamed to even mention what it is...or that my problem has come to this point.  It's a medication I was VERY reluctant to even try...but out of desperation...I took it.

I took the meds Monday, when I got the prescription filled, then held off on Tuesday, as I worked a 12 hr. shift and do not take medications while I have to work.  Wednesday I took another pill because inevitably after working 12 hrs. and taking no meds, I was in dire straights....as I usually am on those days after I work.

Now on Wednesday, after I took that magic little pill, I was expecting some relief.  Well none came.  I packed my head in ice as per my usual and tried to rest. 

At 1230pm, Zachary's school called to tell me he was in the clinic with a sore throat and a temperature of 103.4....so much for ice & rest.

Up I went to get my little sicky from school, and while I was at it I went and got Brendan from the middle school early because with how I (and now Zacary) was feeling, there was no way I was making 2 trips out.

So home we all go...Zachary falls asleep the second he walks in the door, and back to the ice packs I go.

Thank God for Jesse, because when he got home from work, he did homework with Brendan and made him dinner.  Zachary and I just moaned & groaned  in bed together all night.  And I mean alllll night.  His temp was up & down and he was screaming because he could not swallow.  So mama got not sleep.  Not good for my pounding, throbbing head. 

So up Thursday morning, took Brendan to his orthodontist appt., then Zachary to the pediatrician, all the while wanting to bang my head against the wall to stop the stabbing pains in the back of my head.  Zachary's throat cultures came back positive for Strep, so he got on some antiobiotics and is now back to his ornary self.

All the while, I felt like I was on a downward spiral with this headache.  Now the pain medication Dr. B. gave me was prescribed 1 every 12 hrs around the clock...but I never take narcotics around the clock.  It's just not possible when one has to function as a nurse and as a mother.  So I had been taking it as needed.  Not sure if that was when things went haywire or not.  I called Dr. B. at this point.  He called me in a Steroid dose-pack and instructed me to just take the other pills q12 hrs. until I felt better.

Friday morning I was feeling 95% better than I was.  I don't know if the first, large dose of steroids fixed my head or what.  Either way...I was thankful.  I went on to work 12 hrs. on Friday and 12 hrs. on Saturday, relatively pain free...also narcotic free.  Then yesterday (Sunday)...woke up with that relentless pounding...which has stayed since.  It is a pounding so intense it feels as if my eyes are being pushed out of my eye sockets, with random knife-stabbing pains.  Now this is nothing new to me...but obviously these meds aren't working....even a little.  But I also can't figure out if it's the meds making it worse.

After much debate and research I gave Dr. B.'s office the ok to try and get a stimulator trial approved through my insurance company.  I am still petrified...and haven't 100% made up my mind but I don't want to be 33 years old and relying on all these drugs...esp. dangerous narcotics.  It's a slippery slope.

Gotta love ice packs!