My days off from work are supposed to be lazy, relaxing and stress free. At least that's what I wish they were. These days...not so much. I have been running around just as much when I am off work as I do when I am at work. And when I do...only bad things come from that. Jesse actually scolded me this morning for it. My days off lately have been spent at doctor's appointments, nail appointments, hair appointments, Brendan's orthodontist appointments, Zachary's parent/teacher conferences, waiting in car rider lines, doing homework, researching things for work (that's another post), learning how to knit, trying to have time for reading & blogging (which I obviously have neglected)...and preparing for Easter Sunday. Whew...I am exhausted just typing all of that. In all honesty...I am not coping well with my overwhelming schedule and my never-ending pain. I have totally been disregarding my health. My yoga routine has fallen by the wayside...and my diet is anything but healthy...if and when I eat at all. Most of the time, food is so unappealing to me...and ends up making me nauseous. *BIG SIGH*
The other day at work, some co-workers of mine were discussing another employee's migraines. I just sat there, quietly listening...when one of them said to me..."Maybe so & so should get the stimulator instead...you seem fine." Now I took this 2 ways. First...I was actually relieved to hear my peers think I am "fine", as I am always paranoid people can see through my act. I try very hard not to complain at work. Secondly, my "act" seems to have bitten me in the ass. Because, apparently, if I don't complain...people assume I am no longer hurting. Which is so far from the truth, especially lately. I feel like I am on a downward spiral.
On to more exciting news...I FINALLY learned how to knit. YouTube is actually good for something! So here is my latest creation...for the wee ones I catch at work!
Last week, Jesse's sister and brother in law came to visit from Wisconsin, so we both took a week off from work for a little "stay-cation" and family time.
Friday morning we met up at C'est La Vie French restaurant on Main Street in Sarasota for a fabulous breakfast. I had never been there before and definately plan on many more visits. Their pastries were to die for!
After eating, we spent the morning and afternoon shopping in all the boutiques and quaint little shops. I spent a fortune! My tax return check has now dwindled to nearly nothing...but I paid off a large amount of debt and bought some great stuff. All well worth it to me!
Friday night, Jesse's sister, his aunt and I had tickets to go to the Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall to see "Kathy Griffin: Live on Tour." Now, I have never really watched her shows much, but I had heard her autobiography was hilarious. So, because I am such a fan of memoirs and hearing about other people's screwed up lives, I read it and loved it. When it was suggested we see her comedy show live...I was totally up for it. She was absolutely hysterical. My cheeks hurt so bad from laughing so hard. Afterwards...we headed back to downtown Sarasota for dessert, cocktails and people watching on the outdoor sofas.
Saturday was spent at the beach and Sunday was spent with everyone over at our pool. It was a jammed packed...fun-filled few days...and I was exhausted! However, getting out and acting like a tourist in beautiful Sarasota reminded me of all the wonderful things there is to do in this town.
It was back to reality and work this week.
I had my CTA test 3 days ago...and it sucked. At least for me anyways. I had had MRI's with contrast before, so I was expecting it to be no big deal. Plus, this was a CT scanner...so I wouldn't even be anxious or claustrophobic. I had an IV inserted in my right AC without a problem. IV's do not bother me in the least and I have garden hoses for veins. Then I had some pictures taken before any contrast was given. The tech came back in and connected me to an auto-injector. I was put back through the scanner and told the constrast would automatically inject. I was told to expect some warmth throughout my body...which I already knew. Well it took a few minutes for me to feel anything go through my veins...then it hit me. FIRE. It was not a little warmth like I had felt with previous tests. I was needing to hold my breath and be still for the pics...all the while feeling like I was in an inferno. Then, of course, I started to panic. I felt like I couldn't breathe and started flailing my arms and legs all over the place like a crazy women. The techs came running in and I started sobbing and apologizing for being a lunatic. Luckily, they had gotten the picture before I freaked out and I didn't have to repeat it.
So after the test is completed, the tech goes on to tell me that my insurance company did not approve the scan of my brain...and that they only examined my carotids. WTF! I was pissed! How ridiculous insurance companies are. I have a history of Migraine, Hypertension and a right temporoparietal venous angioma and they didn't approve my brain to be scanned? So now, I may have to endure the fires of hell one more time after I speak (or scream) at my insurance company.
Now I am not sure if this has anything to do with the CTA...or I am just a nut case...but I feel like I have been burning up and have been having vomiting & diarrhea ever since.
I rallied and worked the last two days...without a single complaint of how shitty I felt.
It is now 1240pm on Sunday afternoon...I am still in my cozy bed...and it is quite possible I will stay here all day long!
I realized, when I logged onto my blogger account this morning, that this is to be my 100th post. I feel like I have so much to say, as I have missed out on writing for a week and have been super busy...but I am kind of in a blog funk.
I enjoy writing about all the different aspects of my life, not just my chronic head pain.
But something just doesn't seem to be working out right around here at Painfully Speaking. I need a pick me up!