Pissed

I am scheduled to work every Tuesday, Friday & Saturday.

This past Monday night I was still trying to endure a debilitating headache that had been lingering for days.

The one that I was prescribed scary pain pills for and steroids for.

Well those didn't work.

Once I get in that cycle of excrutiating pain, not much helps to decrease it.  If anything, the meds mask the agony, but once they wear off, I am right back to square one.

It's a vicious cycle.  One I am certain most of you can relate to.

Anyways, I called work at 3am Tuesaday morning to let the girls know that I didn't think I could make it in at 7am for my shift.  Luckily, the unit wasn't too busy, so I was able to be cancelled.  Which means it isn't a call-in and wouldn't count against me.  Now I am lucky in the fact that I do have FMLA to use for my head...but rarely ever use it.  Only when I am desperate.  So...I took some more pain medication and happily rolled over back to sleep.

At 1230pm my clinical manager called me and apparantly (as we nurses call it) the "bus rolled in" and the unit was slammed.  So she asked me (or rather told me) to come in.  Now, I could've easily said I couldn't and have used my FMLA to save my ass...but I don't ever do things the easy way.  Number one...I don't want to jeopardize my career I have worked hard for...and number two...I cannot bear to leave my co-workers in a jam.  So through tears I said I'd be right in.

I took a moment to sob and feel sorry for myself, then hopped in the shower.

I made it to work by 2pm.  Surprisingly enough, I was ok for awhile.  My medication was masking the pain, my starbucks gave me a little pep...and being busy keeps my mind off of my noggin.

But it wasn't long before I felt the tremendous pounding and knife-stabbing pains.  I was so nauseated and dizzy...but kept plugging along as always.

Towards the end of my shift I was beginning to feel paincked and desperate though.  Nothing was taking the pain away for real.  So I consulted with one of the OB/GYN's I work with and he suggested calling my primary care physician for advice.

I kind of  gave up on the new neurologist I'd been seeing, so currently only have Dr. B. handling my head.  So I thought I'd give my PCP a try.

Well...O.M.G.

BITCH!

She called me back at the hospital and I quote "I can't do anything for you.  Don't bother going to the ER because they won't help you, and I don't treat headaches at the hospital.  You already take (enter narcotic), so I don't know what else you think I would give you."

Let me just say...I never felt so low in my life.  Not only was my doctor telling me she couldn't and/or wouldn't help me, she eluded to the fact that I was drug-seeking.

For the record...I have plenty of drugs in my medicine cabinet to keep me high if that's what I wanted.  I'm not drug-seeking.  I was more or less hoping of the usual IV cocktail that has broken the cycle the last 2 times...Decadron, Depakote & DHE....along with a bolus of fluids.

So that all said...my mission today...if I get up the strength & motivation...find a new PCP.

Oh and did I mention she also made a snide remark about me finding a neurologist & sticking with him.  Ok...in 7 years I have had 2.  And...I will keep looking for new ones until I find someone I am comfortable with!

Sometimes doctors just SUCK!