I am sitting here, drinking coffee, reading blogs...totally unable to motivate myself. I woke up feeling exhausted after a rather fitful night of sleep (I should say, no sleep). My legs have really been bothering me this week. I don't know if it's related to this somewhat vague diagnosis of Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease or what. I kind of took that diagnosis and threw it out the window. Mainly just concentrating on my head troubles. Maybe there is something to be said for this CTD. My legs just ache down to the bone. I feel a need to have constant pressure on them...or move them. Last night while watching a movie with my boys, I made Brendan (my oldest) lay across my legs. Then in bed, made Jesse do the same. It was either do that, or move & kick all night long. Which I did anyway. Jesse literally found me laying under our mattress one night to get relief. I crave pressure.
My tremors in my hands are getting so bad, I am noticing difficulty writing. I shake doing any fine motor skill. I was scrubbing in on a cesarean section once and the doc told me to lay off the coffee! Well, I shake & twitch without coffee. I hate to admit, I have been heavily relying on xanax to help. Scares me because the more I take...the more I need to relax me. I do not know if the tremors are related to my other ailments or genetic. Probably both. My grandfather had essential tremors and my father has been on Parkinson's disease medications for his tremors for years. Maybe that's whats next for me. =(
I saw Dr. B yesterday. It was my 6 week follow up for my Radiofrequency Lesioning. We both were basically in agreement that it did not completely help my head. However, I do seem to be feeling better this week in that aspect. But...between the RFL and my Botox kicking in...I feel like I need a neck brace! It's taking all my energy just to keep my head upright. I lean on things as much as possible. So now I am having some intense shoulder and neck muscle spasms as a result. Oh joy! It is ALWAYS something! (boo hoo).
Dr. B's very strong recommendation...send me to the Michigan Headache & Neurological Institute in Ann Arbor. He has some pull there, and says they're one of the best. I gotta do some research, then decide. So we'll see...
But for now...it's a lazy day for me! Too tired & sore to do anything. Then of course...the guilt sets in. But not today...no guilt. I was uplifted by a post I just read from "The Tramadol Diaries." So off to "Eat, Love and Pray" today!