Sunday, October 30, 2011

Cha Cha Changes

I feel like I have been going a mile a minute lately, I have barely had time to read all your posts, let alone write one.  But, hopefully, things are about to slow down.

I made one of the hardest decisions of my life.  I resigned from my full time position at work.  Yesterday was officially my last day as a full time employee and it was so hard.  I cried off and on all day.  My friends ordered take out for lunch and bought me a giant cake.

I still question whether or not I made the right choice, but until I took that leap...I'd never know.  For the past 5+ years, I've been "Jessica...Labor & Delivery nurse."  Delivering babies has defined me.  It is my passion and probably always will be, but something had to change.

I was finding myself dreading going into work everyday.  I'd literally lay in bed the day before trying to "save" my energy for the upcoming 12 hour shift.  Then I'd drag myself through it...and crash afterwards.  I was miserable and grumpy to be around, and the people I love the most...Jesse and my boys, suffered from it.  I am no longer fun to be around.  I'm not enjoying my life or anything in it.  I am constantly in pain and exhausted and it's screwing with my moods. 

So...after weeks of praying and crying and debating, I gave my 2 week resignation at the hospital.  I will be staying on PRN, which requires me to work at least one shift a month, so I can still do what I adore, see my friends at The Family Birthplace and get my baby fix. 

Now, being a PRN employee equals no benefits.  So I also accepted a benefited part time position as a case manager with Hospice.  What a change this is going to be!  I am going from one end of life...to the other.

If you think about it...they're pretty similar depending on your beliefs.  I birth babies into this world, and I will be "birthing" the terminally ill into another world.  I think there is something magical about being able to witness someone's first breath, and their last breath.

I have some experience with death and dying...as I was the Perinatal and Infant Loss Coordinator for the hospital.  I'm just not so sure what I will be doing as a case manager.  To me, it sounds like my main role is pain management...which is also right up my alley.

What I do know about my new position is...I have total autonomy which gives me alot of flexibilty. I see my patients when I want to see them.  I get to dress up...no more scrubs, which is kind of exciting for me!  I will be getting paid more money...always a huge bonus!  I will be getting my mileage paid for, a laptop and a cell phone...and their benefits are awesome.

So wish me luck guys...I start my orientation tomorrow...which is the downside because it's Monday through Friday 8a-5p and I have NEVER worked 5 days in a row!  Yikes!  If most of America can do it...I certainly can for one week!

12 comments:

steph said...

Awesome Jessica! I'm so happy for you, changes this big can be intimidating but you're going to rock it! :)

Migrainista said...

Wow, what a change. I'm so excited for you to embark on this new journey. I'm wishing you all the luck in the world!

Heather and Kathy said...

good luck tomorrow with the orientation. Hospice nurses are the best. I just wanted to let you know because you will fit right in with them. The case manager we had for my mom was really awesome as pretty much every hospice person is. I hope this change of job will work out for you! I do hope you will have less pain with this change.


heather

Jessica said...

Thanks ladies! It's a big, scary change for me! I'll let you know how it goes!

Della said...

Change is good! Sometimes little changes make a big difference. I hope this is true for you, too :)

Barbara said...

Good luck to you! It takes a special kind of person to work in that field and I think you'll do great!

mommom said...

YOU CAN EITHER MAKE IT OR BREAK IT. IT'S ALL UP TO YOU NOW. I AM COUNTING ON YOU TO MAKE IT. FROM WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THRU IN YOUR LIFETIME THIS WILL BE NO CHALLENGE FOR YOU. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS CHANGE.
LOTS OF GOOD LUCK MESSIE JESSIE

Heather said...

I know it was a tough decision for you - I've been there - but it sounds like these changes will make a positive change in your life and I'm so excited for you! :)

Jamie said...

Big changes, but I'm so excited for you. Take care of yourself and enjoy the new position.

Mimi said...

Wow! Sounds like a wonderful change. I made a similar choice several years back, and it was the best thing I ever did. Transition is always hard, but in the long run, you'll be happier for it. You sound like an awesome person! Thanks for the follow on my blog!

jasminepw said...

The new position/schedule sounds just right. Wishing you the best :)

Sue said...

Beat wishes to you on this new stage of your journey!