Thursday, April 21, 2011

Knitting Baby Hats & Other Ramblings

My days off from work are supposed to be lazy, relaxing and stress free.  At least that's what I wish they were.  These days...not so much.  I have been running around just as much when I am off work as I do when I am at work.  And when I do...only bad things come from that.  Jesse actually scolded me this morning for it.  My days off lately have been spent at doctor's appointments, nail appointments, hair appointments, Brendan's orthodontist appointments, Zachary's parent/teacher conferences, waiting in car rider lines, doing homework, researching things for work (that's another post), learning how to knit, trying to have time for reading & blogging (which I obviously have neglected)...and preparing for Easter Sunday.  Whew...I am exhausted just typing all of that.  In all honesty...I am not coping well with my overwhelming schedule and my never-ending pain.  I have totally been disregarding my health.  My yoga routine has fallen by the wayside...and my diet is anything but healthy...if and when I eat at all.  Most of the time, food is so unappealing to me...and ends up making me nauseous. *BIG SIGH*

The other day at work, some co-workers of mine were discussing another employee's migraines.  I just sat there, quietly listening...when one of them said to me..."Maybe so & so should get the stimulator seem fine."  Now I took this 2 ways.  First...I was actually relieved to hear my peers think I am "fine", as I am always paranoid people can see through my act.  I try very hard not to complain at work.  Secondly, my "act" seems to have bitten me in the ass.  Because, apparently, if I don't complain...people assume I am no longer hurting.  Which is so far from the truth, especially lately.  I feel like I am on a downward spiral. 

On to more exciting news...I FINALLY learned how to knit.  YouTube is actually good for something!  So here is my latest creation...for the wee ones I catch at work!


Heather said...

what a cute hat!!!! I hope you have a good Easter and take it a bit easy. I guess it is a case of darn if you do and darn if you don't in the complaining at work department. I often feel the same way. I don't like to whine too much, but it gets tiring having a headache and body aches all the time all day long.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you

PhotosByMamie said...

so cute, i'd love one for baby pictures.

Migrainista said...

How cool that you can knit now - great job on the hat!

Sounds like you are stretched pretty thin. I hope you are able to find some balance in the days to come and, more importantly, less pain.

Jessica said...

Mamie...I'll knit a few things & send them to ya! Got some cute ideas for baby props!

WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

Cute hat! The babies will love them!! My niece was a premie (1 lb 12 oz) in 1980 and her little knitted hat that one of the nurses made kept her warm and cozy in her incubator bed!! A special place is reserved in heaven for medical crews that work with babies!!!

I never ever want the people I work with see me in true all encompassing pain freakout mode. I have a great fear of having an episode while at a client hospital. Just as bad!!!

Jessica said...

I hear ya, Winny! I have a fear of not being in control of myself. When I loose my vision and start slurring my words and not making sense...I get SO humiliated, especially when it happens at work. Luckily, it has only happened 3 times while there. Now my new neuro is calling those attacks Basilar Migraine....which was my original diagnosis 7 years ago.