Monday, November 29, 2010

Not So Thankful Today

As I read through everyone else's blog posts and facebook comments, I am kind of thinking..."What's wrong with me?"

Everyone is writing about how thankful they are this season for this or for that.

I don't feel that way.

I feel bitter right now. 

I feel like shit nearly everyday...and I am not thankful.

I know I sound selfish.  I know there are millions of others out there in the world suffering and starving and unable to enjoy their families.  But I cannot help it.

I have tried to make a list of all the things I am grateful for, like so many of you did over the holiday, but everytime I write it, I feel like a phony and erase it.  Because deep down I feel like having a pity party for myself and want to throw a temper tantrum like a three year old.


Migrainista said...

Nothing wrong with a little pity party. Some days are harder than others, that's just how it is. I say, feel whatever you are feeling. Maybe next week you'll feel a little different.

I've certainly thrown my share of tantrums over the years since my pain got out of control.

Fighter said...

Life is very hard, and keeping a positive attitude is even harder. I so understand what you are feeling. All we can do is keep our heads up and not let the pain win over us. Ya, it is real hard to look at the good things we all have, when pain is sitting on top of you and you can't see anything over it. Stay strong.

WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

It must be the fall weather...
I've felt like throwing a ring tailed fit lately. I probably would but I think the floor is really hard and if I fell down and kicked my legs and screamed like I want to it would hurt, and then I'm old (much older than you!) and then I would have trouble getting back up and then.... well, I guess it's too much work to throw a fit right now, (sigh) so I'll just have to settle for agreeing with you - sometimes you just feel BAD and why should you be thankful for THAT??

Jessica said...

Oh Winny you always make me laugh!!!